Ok, so I'm overdue for an update here...
Last night as I was falling asleep I thought of something really cool to write about, but now I can't remember what it was. I quite often have really good ideas come to me as I lie in bed at night and I always assumer I'll remember them the next day, but I never do. I need a voice recorder to keep by my bed so that I can quickly record the ideas before I fall asleep.
I've found myself in a reflective mood lately. The type of mood that usually leaves me to pull inward and break off contact with most of those people around me. I'm generally frustrated with my life, I don't feel any better off than I was two years ago at this time. Indeed I definitely had more fun two years ago.
Although I could be lying to myself, as I tend to be overly nostalgic, and paint my past in a rosy picture.
I think one of my personal problems is that I have a high sense of self-worth, but low self-confidence. I'm disinclined to do anything that could possibly cause me pain (emotional or physical). I also tend to not be very open with people. I tend to reveal outrageous things that uncover nothing (or very little) about me personally rather than to share anything that would truly give a person insight into my personality.
I play my cards close to the vest, probably closer than is healthy. I don't think anyone out there really "knows" me...
This post is one of the most personal things I've shared in a long time, and even as I sit here, I'm strongly considering deleting it...
